today was the last day of the elijah challenge. somehow i gues i kinda felt it was abit of an anti climax? i dunno. but i really feel tt the youth are super ill behaved, myself included. felt reall guilty when i saw the looks tt darren were shooting at us. i mean we were totally tokking non stop and playing a fool and i dunno disturbing one another and making so much noise. and it happens in service too. pple tok during sermon and sleep and stuff and i feel bad because i see it happening and yet i still participate in it sometimes... like today i was gossipin during the sermon which was like REALLY qt bad i guess... but we stopped after a while but still. i dunno...sometimes i think tt our youth are like so superficially on for God but inside they are more on abt the social side of coming to church.i know its like qt a sweeping statement to say lah but i just fel tt way sometimes... and its not like im condemning or judging or wad cos i know that sometimes i act tt way too. i guess just really need to repent and reflect on ourselves? and i know that many of us do really love God and stuff just tt maybe short attention span or wad... but its qt disrespectful to the speaker and i felt bad esp cos it was evangelical today and like wad if there was an unbeliever in front of us hu was so distracted by the noise we were making that he was unable to hear the speaker properly and so lost the chance to be saved? dunno lah just feel really bad abt it :(

anyway lots of miracles were performed today so praise the Lord for tt! but most of the time me and loo were outside having a discussion abt stuff... i mean i see where shes coming frm and all and i guess its true tt we shldnt just accept things liddat lah but i guess i have been convinced that God has given us the authority to perform miracles even today, even here and now. i know that there will be people who feel tt only the apostles and disciples of those days were empowered to perform miracles but i dunno. somehow i dun really agree. but yah i know that its really impt to always give glory to God and know the purpose that He has for performing such miracles that we do not abuse the authority God has given us and become proud and stuff cos then we will definately fall!and yah... our will has nothing to do with it whatsoever... like wad he said yst: its the will of God and if God says no then it means no. He said no to Paul and Paul was like such a great man of God so its nothing to do with US!just thank God that He has always the best for us in mind! *cheer up babe!*
 
conferenced till like 245 last night lah... better not make this a habit! was so tired today i like slept thru half of gp haha. im like amazed she din notice. anyway. i went for a uk talk after tt and i dunno... more and more im like inclined to study in the uk? i know its really ex and i always wanted to study in nus before anywhere else... btu i dunno... when i hear what they have got to say abt thier studies there it really sounds so appealing. i mean they get to see thier first patient after like 1-2 mnths only! and like even tho they are only in thier first yr they can go and see patients regularly and learn while practising, whereas in nus tt time when the students came they said the whole of the first yr is pure mugging and like u dun do anything else but study wads in the text books. i mean i know tts impt too but like... i dunno i wanna be a doctor cos it makes me feel good to be doing something that can benefit others and like studying a textbook is like so not haha... oh wells. will pray abt it... and i better get round to filling up my ucas form and doing my personal statement! im so lazy lah!!! falling further and further behind in my studies and stuff... but i filed today!! amazing but true haha... i finally managed to get down to it! it took me super long but i felt so happy after tt haha... i was like telling zy tt i rock hees. oh man i kinda miss trg... getting white :( how gross. im going to be a tofu!!! *wails*